Happy Valentine's Day - A day for love?

Hi All,
I was thinking about the significance of today's date and what it might feel like for people who perhaps don't feel love for themselves or loved by others. This is in my mind a lot at the moment as I'm spending time with parents, adults, babies and children with a view to developing healthy attachments, understanding how our brains develop and how PBs can help us all to feel safe and empowered.
I was then reminded of the wonderful video shared by Di that showed something very simple that people could do to help someone feel less alone perhaps and part of something special - a network!

Cheers once again Di x

It's now 3 year on from this post and I'm pondering on how far things might have come in terms of asking if someone might like a hug.

For those of you who follow the #ProtectiveBehaviours on Twitter you might be aware that Ann Seal and I have been persisting with Swizzels Matlow to ask them to revise some of the messages currently promoted on Love Hearts. Indeed Sarah-Louise Heslop, Marketing Manager from Swizzels Matlow Limited, has sought to reassure me that KISS ME and BE MINE are still very appropriate for a brand that is about love and friendship, as well as reassuring me that ‘We are always open to suggestions’.

So in the spirit of openness and suggestions, Ann Seal and I asked people that attended our recent 4 day Protective Behaviours Specialist Practitioner course to ‘free-think’ alternatives that were more consistent with the Language of Safety and therefore the enhancement of relationships and empowered communication for all.

Our first task was to do some research – this involved opening many packets of Love Hearts and recording the message - we could choose whether or not to consume the sweets! This is what we discovered in the messages currently promoted - I also find it interesting that messages are in capitals…..

TRUE LIPS, BE GOOD, KISS, TOO MUCH, BE HAPPY, MY DOLL, IN LOVE, DEAR ONE, CRAZY, BEST MATE, BONNIE LASS, SKYPE ME!, LITTLE KISS, PAMPER ME, LUCKY DAY, NEW LOVE, MAKE UP, MY ANGEL, BLESS YOU, SWEET HEART, ONLY YOU, MY BOY, HEART THROB, RELAX, COOL KID, JUST ME, LOVE BUG, SPOIL ME, TWEET ME, JUST SAY NO, WILL YOU, GOOD PALS, KISS ME, WICKED, CANNY LAD, FIRST LOVE, PLAY TIME, IT’S TRUE, LITTLE MISS, TEASE ME, LIKE YOU, YES DEAR, MY ALL, HOLD ME, SWEET YOU, GUESS WHO, HUG ME, SAY YES, FIND ME, FOR YOU, BLUE EYES, I SURRENDER, FOR KEEPS, BYE BYE, HELLO, HARD LUCK, FUNNY FACE, I’M SHY, MY IDEAL, GROW UP.
(The message we found particularly offensive was ‘I SURRENDER’ – I had also been told that Love Heart messages had to be in the form of 5 letters followed by 6 letters….)

I’ve been waiting for Sarah to get back to me and had felt hopeful that Valentine’s Day was a wonderful opportunity to reinforce some empowering messages such as:
I LIKE ME, I LOVE ME, BE YOU, YES PLEASE, NO THANKS, NO MEANS NO, I'M LISTENING, NEVER EVER, RESPECT ME – as a group we came up with loads!
So, come on Swizzles Matlow, please embrace the opportunity to do something positive to empower young people rather than living in the past in terms of thinking that a brand that commands people to KISS ME and BE MINE are still appropriate messages for a brand that is 'about love and friendship,.

It was interesting to me that a teacher working with 11 year olds on our course was very clear that children opening packets of these sweets on the playground can be observed reading carefully every message and then pointedly deciding who to give each sweet to. I wonder how it might feel to be deliberately singled out to be given any of these: BYE BYE, FUNNY FACE, CRAZY or HARD LUCK among a peer group some of whom are presumably singled out to be handed BEST MATE, SWEET YOU, HOLD ME & FOR KEEPS?

In the current climate of our expanding knowledge of the prevalence of CSE (child sexual exploitation)I feel disgusted at the lack of awareness of the inappropriateness and concern about 'I SURRENDER'

Sally Ann and I are looking forward to a helpful response from Swizzels Matlow...